Black Friday

I have had many happy times in Nice 'n' Sleazy. Arab Strap, Bob Logg III and Lapsus Linguae making my giant cranium vibrate with delight but I always thought of the food to be an afterthought. I had a Black Friday burger there recently. That it was eateb there on a Friday was pure coincidence. And to deliberately misquote Han Solo - it might not look like much but it's got it where it counts. My initial disappointment at seeing a relatively tiny lunch arrive (and their warning it would take 15 minutes to prepare was no idle boast - but it did give me a chance to reaquaint myself with Scotland's free local music journalism) my heart sank when I saw that most pointless of contemporary culinary accessories: the wee tin bucket for your fries (not this however).


*aside* if anyone has a proper use for these then let me know, I will happily wrestle them up from the evil clutches of unimaginative cooks everywhere, and parcel them up to be shipped to Liberia where they can use them as tiny sun hats for their pets or something.


Anyway, the Lucasian reference above was referring to a tall but not wide patty which from was shrouded from view thanks to a green leafy poncho of salad. Once I had remove the skewers which held the nametag - this Paddington bear inspired touch was not wasted on me. Cute - the total package was extremely weighty. Inside was a Tabasco infused hunk lean beef covered with molten, tangy blue cheese and doused with a sweet and dirty ketchupy barbecue sauce. The crispy greens and meaty tomatoes only added to the joy. Liquor soused the plate after one bite as the meat was that succulent. The whole thing fell apart in my hand but given that I almost bit off a finger in the process I fear that was definitely my fault, rather than anyone else's. In short, this was nothing short of tremendous. The offending pot of prefectly decent wedgie fries were now not only excusable but positively useful when it came to mopping up the juicy flotsam that littered the plate. Nice 'n' Sleazy has always felt like safe haven to me - the jukebox, the decor, the general geekery of the whole endeavour makes my heart sing. Here's another reason to add to the list. 
If this burger was a Mogwai album it would be: Come On Die Young. Unassuming, overshadowed by its more fiery brethren but cunningly devised, ingeniously exectuted and a treat for the senses.

Some homework December '11

Forgot all about this cheeky wee scamp. Knocked it together over Christmas but only found the snaps again now. No great revelations here, aside perhaps  from the wildly unseaonal application of avocado, but hey, it's only air miles and the exploitation of the the third world by multinational corporations on my behalf, right?
So we're looking at beef and fried onion burgers, cheap cheese, double (annoyingly tasteless) tomato, sliced avocado and a couple of rashers of extra crispy smoked streaky bacon. Should have been pancetta but given the onion-y tang of the burgers it probably would have been a waste.  Fell to pieces instantly of course - I'll one day corral a room full of mathematicians and physicists to calculate for me the optimum height-to-width ratio of a burger, but I still haven't got the grant through yet - but the composite parts were very respectable indeed.

If this burger was a show on Discovery Shed it would be: This Old House but not the good series when they did the harbour side house in Boston or the converted firehouse, just the okay series when they refitted the New Orleans street post-Katrina.